Well isn’t this nice, here we are, surviving our current era of human existence. It may be a far gentler version of the Black Plague, using the broad shoulders of Netflix, Zoom and Uber eats for our support, however, surviving we are.
I’m all for suffering, and personally, I am enjoying our latest and greatest human drama. No, I am not a sadist, but I am highly supportive of moral and spiritual growth. Without suffering, humans lack impetus for change; difficulty produces character, challenges create solutions, and the complete removal of relied upon realities gives the opportunity for a reset.
The thing about reality is that it doesn’t really exist. It is a constantly changing tapestry that we all contribute towards. A bit like a kindergarten painting session where we are all fighting to use our own colours on our piece of the paper.
I won’t digress by debating further the nature of subjective reality, and how humanity has weakened itself by forgetting its illusory nature. Because let’s face it, this article is about you, and you only really care about your reality, and your life.
So how are you?
- Have you reconnected to your primary relationships?
- Have you become buried by financial stress?
- Have you chosen to improve your health?
- Have you re-examined your existential philosophies?
- And most importantly...are you coping?
Now isn’t that a strange concept, “coping”.
I already know the answer because you are reading this article and therefore your eyes, heart and lungs are still functioning. If you are alive, you are coping.
The question should rather be asked; what is your experience of coping?
“Coping” implies that you are at the mercy of external factors which will test your strength and endurance. Picture an over enthusiastic shopping assistant piling more and more items onto your arm; as your shoulders ache and you struggle to breathe under the pile of clothes they ask: “Can you carry more? Ready to give up?”
Whereas if we add the word “experience” to the perspective of coping, it automatically becomes one of internal ownership. This takes you away from being a victim of shop assistants (or god, the government, international pandemics and ex’s), and moves you into the power of choice.
Let me adjust my question for the third time...how are you choosing to experience your life?
Because just as there is no true reality, neither is there a real “coping”.
Coping with what?
Stress? Pain? Grief?
Who told you that these experiences of sentient life should not exist? Who told you that they are insurmountable events that have descended upon you with the sole purpose of ruining your life?
Life is simply...life.
We will love, hate, fear, grieve, triumph, laugh, cry, doubt, succeed, fail, grow and die. This is the only reality you should work towards accepting. But if you are going to put some effort into adjusting your perspective of reality, you might as well reset it completely.
Reset it to a version of yourself where you know that you have the capacity and the power to change your experience of living. A version of reality that sees you choosing to feel and think creatively and lovingly, rather than fearfully and negatively.
If you find yourself “coping” then it is because you are believing, and identifying with, information that is, quite frankly, a lie. A lie that includes your viewpoints, perspective and thoughts.
I know that perhaps this is not the magic-pill-solution that you expected to hear, and you may feel slightly disappointed that you invested your time in reading this article only to arrive at this point to see that I am offering you only brutal reality (sans the sugar coating).
If it is magic you are seeking, look in the mirror.
You hold the power to take action. You get to decide what you want to think and how you want to feel. You get to be the hero of your own story and it starts with the decision to take charge of the true magic that exists within you.
Is it hard? Yes. Does it require you to be accountable and change old habits? Yes again. Is it worth it? Hell yes!
How do you begin? By creating a simple plan for yourself:
- What 3 things in your life can you feel deeply grateful for? The kind of yummy feeling that floods your cells with light and tickles your skin with goosebumps. Now focus on them daily.
- What fear compresses your heart and fills your mind with darkness? Open the prison door and speak your fear to a loved one. You can either keep it trapped within you, or open the door to emotional freedom.
- How have you loved yourself? If you want the world to love you, show it how. Move your body, rest your mind, and shape your thoughts with compassion.
Your plan needs to be your plan, the world is not going to rescue you or soften its raw nature. But my darling, you can rescue yourself, there is no one better qualified.