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Feeling the Pressure for Change? 

 January 22, 2020

By  Sonia

I could lie and tell you that I am deliberately writing my first article of 2020 after the hoards of New-Year-Motivational-Emails to illustrate my following thoughts. But the truth is that I haven’t felt enthusiastic to start this year yet. 

Considering that we are almost at the end of January, and (*gasp*) my career is based on motivation, that is a hard confession. However, it is the truth, and the concept of TRUTH is what I wanted to chat with you about today.

Truth = Reality.

It’s as simple as that.

But we don’t like reality very much do we? It’s uncomfortable, painful, embarrassing, scary, intimidating and, if left unchecked, can drain our hope faster than you can say ‘wtf’. The way we cope with all that nasty truth is through self-delusion and escapism: we pad ourselves with cushioned ideas like “next year will be better” and avoid feeling our truth by disappearing into pursuits that achieve nothing more than ticking off the minutes of the day. 

But once a year we are presented with the opportunity to press the reset button. We are invited to examine all the things in our lives we no longer like and firmly resolve to do better. Be better. Make that change. Our hope is once again inflated, we find the strength to accept the truth of our unhappiness and dissatisfaction. We fill ourselves with passion and come out the starting gates confident and energised… but that might just be the after-effects of all that holiday self-indulgence fueling you (aka wine and beer)… because most New Years resolutions last a few short weeks at best. 

And another year unfolds; we become better at accepting less than we deserve, less than we are, less than we dream of being. We do this because it is easier to hide behind excuses rather than accept what is and face those hard truths.

You see, you cannot ever expect to truly change your mind, heart, health, finances, relationships (or anything in your life) until you learn to work with reality. If you keep avoiding the truth, you will be trying to create something new from something that doesn’t exist, which is why you have found change so difficult to achieve in the past.

Allow me to illustrate:

  • You cannot experience more success if you don’t have the courage to accept where you have been self-sabotaging. Saying you don’t have enough time or resources is an excuse and not the solution.
  • You cannot experience the love and happiness you have been yearning for until you accept that you are settling for less. Telling yourself ‘it isn’t that bad’ is not going to change your relationships or opportunities.
  • You cannot find your passion and energy if you sit on your couch and indulge in fantasy rather than admit you don’t know where to start and need some help.

Truth is your ultimate building block, and when you can allow yourself to authentically accept your fears, your limitations, your secret desires and everything else within you that you filter to better get through your day – that is when you become powerful.

Your current reality might not be reflecting what it is you ultimately want, this is not something to hide away from, but rather it is a gift that provides you with the exact road map that you have been looking for. Within those hard truths are the places where you can start to do the real work and make the kind of change that doesn’t need champagne and a calendar date to succeed.

As we say goodbye to January and settle into 2020, relieve yourself of the New Years’ pressure for change and try instead to practice self-honesty. In this practice, you will find your peace, strength, and wisdom.

As for me, my current truth is that I am more than a series of achievements and to-do-lists. I am an ever-evolving human learning every day how better to move graciously through the contradictions of life.

Enjoy your day, feel your emotions, and before anything else… love yourself and those around you (the rest will figure itself out).